poems- would love some constructive criticism

[rainswings]

awesome. Thank you.

[FireCalls]

Use the title 'Death of you' your poems are always so happy...lets add a dark note! My favorite kind!

[winterkitten]

Your poems are quite good. I particularly like Grey Scale- how the speaker seems to be arguing with the numbers is really cool.

I guess simplicity's part of your style, but I dunno...the poems seems to lack...something? They sound a bit...I'm not sure. Superficial isn't the right word. You could try to improve on your vocab, use more poetic devices- metaphors, smiles, alliteration, imagery, other cool stuff I don't know because I'm no poem guru

Because right now, your poems seem to sound like any one on any other thread of any other Magistream user. I'm not getting a distinctive voice from your specific poetry. Explore more. You're good now, but I think you can go a lot further.

To get an idea of what I'm talking about,
http://angelstained.deviantart.com/gall ... 0#/d3a7loz

(no. I don't actually understand it either. I thought it sounded pretty cool, though. How lame of me. XP)

Have a nice day! Good luck with your writing!

[rainswings]

Death of you
Posted to page 4

[rainswings]

I now take requests for names and try to write poems on them. Also, i posted Moon to page 4. I think the childs stanza is best though.

[puppiesrock8]

Awesome! Do more!!! I love poems like that! I like the second one the most!

[rainswings]

I take dares for poems, please make a name and I will do it.

[jthmlover8]

Hm... Do a poem about the phrase 'The End' then.

I have one of my own on that topic, and it was a favorite in my class.

[rainswings]

The End
posted to
Page 4.

[rainswings]

anyone have a name for me to use?