A Fate Twice Sealed (Draco's keep story) We're back!

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Dracolord
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A Fate Twice Sealed (Draco's keep story) We're back!

Post by Dracolord »

Hello, all you magimites! Yesterday I decided I would write a keep story. I have the first part done, and will try to update on Wednesdays and Fridays/Saturdays. This is welcome to constructive criticism, as long as you can explain your thoughts.

Part list:
Part one- Lhurgoyfs in Arkene

Creature companions currently involved in some part of the story:
Image- Black Fire
Image- Intetrinorium(Intet)

The story:
Spoiler
My name is Fenton, but most call me Dracolord, or Draco for short. I'm going to tell you a story about a young magi who had great adventures, and fought dark wizards, a magi who paid a price for revenge.
*****
It was early in the morning when the messanger arrived. He was no more than 14 years old, and he obviously wasn't from around these parts. When he handed me the letter, I opened it, and noticed the writing style was familiar. My friends promised to try not to bother me while I was still researching in Raneslek, and no one else was supposed to know I was here, save for Master Belmos, who told me this would be a good experience, and Donnie, my brother. This handwriting was that of Christopher, the first of my friends to be informed. In the letter, he said things were getting worse in Arkene, the frozen land not far from Raneslek. The first lhurgoyf sightings were here, and they were apparently spreading to Arkene as well. You see, lhurgoyfs are deadly creatures, completely untaimable, and completely evil. Whenever they kill something, their strength grows, and they become just a little bit smarter. They generally live in colder areas, considering that's where the first one was created by a group of young, foolish dark magi.

Anyway, Chris said that a lhurgoyf had been spotted attacking these two children. He said that I needed to get there as soon as possible so that I could help kill the beast. Now, children are unusual targets for lhurgoyfs, as they don't usually possess very much meat. This must have meant that the beast was either in a tight situation, or it needed more strength to get bigger kills. Either way, it wouldn't end well.

I sighed and thanked the messanger, then called over Black Fire, my void dragon. I told her what we were doing, and she growled. "What about the lhurgoyfs here? You can't just leave; the lhurgoyfs are only hiding because you're here. As soon as we leave, there is going to be trouble." I sighed and patted Black Fire. "I understand that. But the Arkenians are going to get themselves hurt trying to fight their lhurgoyf. They don't understand what they're dealing with. Besides, Chris is there and he can help clean this mess up once the Arkenians get revenge." I climbed onto Black Fire's back and called to Intetrinorium, my black ice dragon. "You stay here and protect the villagers. They could use your help."

And just like that, we were off, flying towards Arkene and the pesky lhurgoyf.

*****
When I arrived in Arkene, there was tension in the air. Chris was waiting for me and he quickly walked up. Now, Chris is a nice guy, but he's not one for small talk. He's the same age as me, curly blonde hair, about 5 '6", and wears a tee-shirt and jeans, as well as a white hoodie. "There's been another attack. Two adults, one male and one female. There seems to be another lhurgoyf here, attacking one group while the other looks for another opening. We've seen it circling a small house, so gaurds were sent to protect the inhabitants." I let it all sink in. Two lhurgoyfs meant more would perish, which meant the people would be getting more frightened, thus leading to a rash action. "We have to stop this soon. Those beasts are only going to get stronger the longer we wait."

We quickly made our way to the house under protection, and saw about fifteen gaurds surrounding the house. I could see the faces of two children in the window, their eyes filled with fear. Chris and I walked in, and the first sight when we crossed the threshold was the two children, only about 8 years old, with grim looks on their faces. "Where are your parents?" I asked them. Their response was oddly calm for the words they were saying. "They tried to fight the monster but got killed." It was obvious these children were not babied, but rather told everything about life right up front.

Chris looked at me like he didn't know what to say. "Well, who is taking care of you then?" Their response was somewhat uplifting, but not much. "Grandpa is." I decided that maybe the grandfather would be of some help. "So then where is he?" I asked them in a serious but gentle voice. "He's in the kitchen, talking with another person." And on that, Chris and I walked to the room we assumed was the kitchen, where we saw an elderly man, probably in his 60s, talking with a younger man, who appeared to be no older than 30. "Excuse me Sir, but would you mind answering a few questions for us?" The man turned and replied in a raspy voice. "I could answer a few questions, yes. May I ask who you are first?" "I'm Fenton, and this is Chris. We're magi from the keep. Did you happen to see the monster that attacked the children's parents?" The man mulled it over for a minute, and said "I saw it alright. It was a dark green, rather spindly. It didn't appear to have eyes, and it's face was mostly this great big mouth, with rows of sharp teeth. It didn't appear to be very big, but it sure was tough." This must have meant that this was the second Lhurgoyf, and its only kills must have been the two adults. "Okay, and did it turn it's head around at all during the attack?" Again, the man thought, furrowing his brow and tapping his chin. "No, I suppose it didn't, from what I could see." This was comforting, since it meant that the beasts probably didn't attack together. "Okay, one last question. Did you happen to see where the beast went after the attack?" The man didn't have to think as hard this time. "It went to the east, and into the woods." Chris and I each shook hands with the man, and decided we knew what we needed to go and hunt the menace.

As I was about to leave, I heard shouting coming from outside. The gaurds were running toward something, just out of view. Chris and I quickly ran outside, just in time to see a huge beast ripping three gaurds to shreds, the others either fleeing or charging. The lhurgoyfs muscles grew much bigger, and it would easily be able to kill the charging guards. I swore under my breath and began reciting the words to a spell. I finished and giant shards of ice shot up from the ground impaling the lhurgoyf's leg. "Damn, wrong place." The lhurgoyf was pissed now, and he thrashed about, trampling two gaurds, before he finally got his leg free. As he ate his fresh kills, his muscles started growing. Then, he lashed his tail out towards Chris and I. That was the last thing I saw before everything went black.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Part one.
Last edited by Dracolord on July 1st, 2011, 2:09:44 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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cyberus151
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Re: Draco's keep story

Post by cyberus151 »

First!... and epic. Hopefully there is more to come, yes?
Hey, I'm an ancient user. Ignore my profile and such, too tired to update, haha.
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Dracolord
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Re: Draco's keep story

Post by Dracolord »

All in good time. All in good time.

Also, gonna edit in another paragraph between the last two. Forgot some important stuff.

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Re: Draco's keep story

Post by Dracolord »

Okay, guys, i'm sorry I haven't updated in... a while, but things have been busy for me, and I haven't had much time to write. thus, i am planning on getting the part one edit in, as well as two more parts by Monday, I swear on the River Styx.

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Dracolord
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Re: A Fate Twice Sealed (Draco's keep story)

Post by Dracolord »

Stuff happened. point is, I don't think I'll have free time to write until school's out. that's June 17th or so. until then, I'll write tidbits when I can, and then fully start my writing again after the huge tests are done. sorry, but I haven't had the time I thought I would.

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