Xrien? (Really need con crit!)

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Zovesta
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Xrien? (Really need con crit!)

Post by Zovesta »

Ugh. I'm awful at descriptions! *flails* Well, sketches will be up soon.

My Descriptions

General:
Xriens are rarely seen creatures, lurking in dark and dank areas. They are creatures that are often talked about, though. People believe that they have three heads, each one serving a purpose. The middle head acts as the main control for the body, while the other two live only to help the middle head. After they mature into adults, the left and right head will latch onto the middle head. Their saliva will coat the creature, protecting it. As they do this, the Xriens will go to sleep for two hundred years. When it awakens, if it is female, the middle head will devour the other two heads for vitamins so that it can give birth to a baby. If it is male, it will simply try to find a female to breed as soon as possible.

Adult: As you near the cellar you can hear the Xrien's tail smacking against the ground impatiently. You cautiously open the door and see a dark green head adorned with turquoise frills pointed in your direction. The turquoise eyes glare at you, standing out strikingly against their black markings. The left and right head are down on the ground, coiled up and apparently not thinking. Their long tail swishes, it's turquoise fin on the end smacking against the ground. You toss the raw meat at the middle head, and it easily snaps it up. Having decided it's done with you, the middle head lays on it's paws and shuts it's eyes, completely blending in with the black markings.

Hatchling: The Xrien hatchling refuses to interact with others, simply staying in a corner. It will only move to eat and drink, but it will sleep the rest of the time. Right now, as you approach it, it is awake. The middle head stares at your hand, expecting meat, while two smaller heads on each side look at your eyes. You reach forward to stroke it, but the middle head expands it's frill and hisses at you, baring it's teeth. Deciding against it, you pull your hand back and leave.

Egg: This egg has a fin on it, delicately poking out.


SeaCrest's Descriptions

General:
Almost legendary, Xriens are very rarely seen, preferring dark, dank caves and complete solidarity. The stories surrounding the Xriens contain some truth, such as that the center head is the thinking one, the head that controls all bodily movements. The other two heads are simply other ways of catching prey. When it grows up, the Xrien’s two smaller heads will coat the middle head and the body in a poisonous saliva that protects it from all harm. After this protective rite, the Xrien will go to sleep for two hundred years, resting and growing. During this time, the Xrien’s body will evolve into either a female or a male. The male’s extra heads serve as decoration in order to attract a mate, while the female must swallow her two other heads in order to have enough nutrients to survive having a baby. Although the second and third heads are eaten, they grow back instantaneously, allowing the Xriens to produce offspring multiple times.

Adult: The Xrien has grown larger, its head topped by a frilled crest with horny spikes. Six turquoise eyes glare at you, four close to the ground, the other pair high up. A dry swishing sound is its tail, sweeping across the floor. The middle head snatches the red meat from your hand, and swallows it whole. Watching you warily, it lowers its head and rests it on its front paws.

Hatchling: After its hatching, this three-headed creature refuses to interact with any but the one who brings it food. The center head seems to be the ‘alpha,’ the other two its betas. Since its birth, it has curled up in a dark corner, only moving to eat or drink. Its malevolent eyes glare at you whenever you approach it, even if you should be carrying food. If you move to pet it, all three heads hiss, while the middle head raises its crest menacingly.

Egg: You can see a delicate fin poking out of the shell of this egg.

Thanks! :D

Crits, please? Reserving next post for sketches.
Last edited by Zovesta on September 15th, 2009, 8:23:08 pm, edited 7 times in total.
There are many different variations of me. Some say that each person has a unique one. Sometimes I will be closed, sometimes open to show the bones behind the wall. Sometimes I am kind, sometimes I am sinister. What am I? (PM answer)
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Zovesta
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Re: Zovesta's Entry - Xrien?

Post by Zovesta »

The sketches... ignore the stupid egg up there, I failed at it.
Image

The colors (just to give you a basic idea)
Image
There are many different variations of me. Some say that each person has a unique one. Sometimes I will be closed, sometimes open to show the bones behind the wall. Sometimes I am kind, sometimes I am sinister. What am I? (PM answer)
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Re: Xrien? (I need con crit, and picture are up!)

Post by Zovesta »

Daily bump!
There are many different variations of me. Some say that each person has a unique one. Sometimes I will be closed, sometimes open to show the bones behind the wall. Sometimes I am kind, sometimes I am sinister. What am I? (PM answer)
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Re: Xrien? (I need con crit, and picture are up!)

Post by SeaCrest »

O.o Scary. Sounds very interesting. The sketches don't seem...natural, but then, no creature on earth has three heads. May I try and re-write the descriptions? I like writing ^_^
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Re: Xrien? (I need con crit, and picture are up!)

Post by Zovesta »

Sure!

And, yeah, they aren't supposed to be used, just to give you an idea of what they should look like.

Thanks! :)
There are many different variations of me. Some say that each person has a unique one. Sometimes I will be closed, sometimes open to show the bones behind the wall. Sometimes I am kind, sometimes I am sinister. What am I? (PM answer)
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Re: Xrien? (I need con crit, and picture are up!)

Post by SeaCrest »

General:
Almost legendary, Xriens are very rarely seen, preferring dark, dank caves and complete solidarity. The stories surrounding the Xriens contain some truth, such as that the center head is the thinking one, the head that controls all bodily movements. The other two heads are simply other ways of catching prey. When it grows up, the Xrien’s two smaller heads will coat the middle head and the body in a poisonous saliva that protects it from all harm. After this protective rite, the Xrien will go to sleep for two hundred years, resting and growing. During this time, the Xrien’s body will evolve into either a female or a male. The male’s extra heads serve as decoration in order to attract a mate, while the female must swallow her two other heads in order to have enough nutrients to survive having a baby. Although the second and third heads are eaten, they grow back instantaneously, allowing the Xriens to produce offspring multiple times.

Adult: The Xrien has grown larger, its head topped by a frilled crest with horny spikes. Six turquoise eyes glare at you, four close to the ground, the other pair high up. A dry swishing sound is its tail, sweeping across the floor. The middle head snatches the red meat from your hand, and swallows it whole. Watching you warily, it lowers its head and rests it on its front paws.

Hatchling: After its hatching, this three-headed creature refuses to interact with any but the one who brings it food. The center head seems to be the ‘alpha,’ the other two its betas. Since its birth, it has curled up in a dark corner, only moving to eat or drink. Its malevolent eyes glare at you whenever you approach it, even if you should be carrying food. If you move to pet it, all three heads hiss, while the middle head raises its crest menacingly.

Egg: You can see a delicate fin poking out of the shell of this egg.
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Re: Xrien? (I need con crit, and picture are up!)

Post by Yunyi »

Oh, I think that's a cool idea :D And the hatchling is adorable XD
But the adult scares me @_@ Because two of them are biting the middle one's neck...I just find that scary o.o
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Re: Xrien? (I need con crit, and picture are up!)

Post by Zovesta »

Fantastic!

Also, yeah, they latch onto the head... XD I forgot which animal I based this off of. I know it was a praying mantis that I got the eating thing from...
There are many different variations of me. Some say that each person has a unique one. Sometimes I will be closed, sometimes open to show the bones behind the wall. Sometimes I am kind, sometimes I am sinister. What am I? (PM answer)
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Re: Xrien? (Really need con crit!)

Post by Zovesta »

Put SeaCrest's description in the first post, I gotta love it. :) Thanks again!
There are many different variations of me. Some say that each person has a unique one. Sometimes I will be closed, sometimes open to show the bones behind the wall. Sometimes I am kind, sometimes I am sinister. What am I? (PM answer)
Moth, eggs by Horsegirl901
Potion by Munin


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Re: Xrien? (Really need con crit!)

Post by SeaCrest »

You're welcome ^_^

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