Kriever's Creature I - Feathered Serpent | Critique welcome.

[Kriever]

Kriever’s Entry :-
[- Feathered Snake or Feathered Serpent-]


[- Egg -]
This egg is covered with a strange feathery down, yet its actual surface is scaly. It also has several sets of small wings adorning the shell, but somehow, you think that this will not turn out to be a normal flying avian...

[- Hatchling -]
The egg has finally hatched; yielding a creature that you did not expect. Its form is clearly that of a snake, but its body is covered with glassy feathers that reflect light. It's head has a crest of a small silver diamond-like horn, and it is also highly intelligent, achieving a form of flight within hours of emergence. Sometimes it curls around your neck and hangs there, reading your books and chasing your smaller creatures, hissing as it spreads out its wings to intimidate them. As it flies and glides around, it leaves its small feathers trailing behind it in its wake. The small stubs on its body are still continuing to grow, and it's just growing longer and longer...

[- Adult -]
The feathered serpent is now fully grown. At full height, it towers over you easily. Its powerful tail can destroy buildings with a hard swipe, making it an extremely dangerous creature, while it's teeth are able to snap bones with a simple jerk of it's horned head. Most of the time, it leaves your Keep for the skies or caves, but returns occasionally and resides in a damp area in your lodgings, while the other creatures dislike to approach it. The serpent can now glide and fly, twisting it's long body to gain momentum, spiraling upwards in an arc and flapping it's primary, dragon-like wings. They are vicious by nature, and only skilled Magi can tame them. However, those who manage this note-worthy task can expect a companion for a lifetime to come.

[- General-]
No Magi knows how this strange hybrid was created. Some say a Puvia had been together with another snake-creature, possibly a Basilisk or a Leviathan, like the case of the Manticore, but others believe that a higher power decreed it so. These rare creatures are usually found in the Nareau caves, brown and able to camouflage with the dirt easily. Their more brightly-coated counterparts skirt the snowy mountain skies of Arkene, blue and white, frolicking amongst the clouds. Their beautiful feathers twinkle in the light, creating an illusionary thought of gems. While both breeds are covered in feathers, it is one of the only creatures still in communication with the Basilisks, which can be helpful in obtaining one of the dangerous snake's eggs.



Image Description:
Egg - It's an egg covered with light blue or brownish feathers, depending on it's breed. It also has two dragon-like wings on the top, and another pair of smaller, curvy wings below. Colors again, vary from breed.

Hatchling - A small serpent covered with feathers, and there's a small diamond-shaped crest on it's forehead, in the middle of it's eyes. It's dragon wings are the first pair of wings, while the devil ones follow. Depending on it's length, small stubs can also be put into it's tail to signify more of those devil wings growing along it's body. Can also add a few broken eggshells around it or just a scatter of feathers on it's base. Colors vary, though it can be lighter in tone so that it's Adult form will be more eye-catching.

Adult - It is now really big, body is also feathered, now the dragon wings are spread wide. It's face has frills, long, sharp teeth and the diamond shape has grown into something like the top of a blade. It can be curling around to show how long it is. Devil wings also follow with a few gaps inbetween for flight maneuverability.

Notes:
This is based off Quetzalcoatl, as some of you may be able to guess. That was the original name for this species, then I realised I added too many of my own changes, so a new name was in order. Assuming that I can’t draw a Totem pole, which is what the original Aztecs have modeled it after, I’ll just do my interpretation of a ‘Feathered Snake’. I think the only one we have that resembles and is a serpent is the Basilisk... Since Leviathans are Water Dragons/Serpents... Oh, what-say-you. They aren’t going to be here forever, so I tried my hand at this.

Sigh. Scanner doesn't work. =_= No illustrations, peeps.

[Kriever]

Reserving for next entry.

[Silvereye]

With the scanner:I understand. I was making a collage and I had to scan it. Scanner wouldn't take it. Now it takes anything else.

But the creature is awesome! Yes, I read that fast.

[Kriever]

Finished image descriptions.

Still looking for moar critique. \(-^ ^-)/

[Firerubynat]

Very interesting descriptions! Though...

... it’s nowhere near a resemblance of a bird...

... its teeth are able to snap bones with a simple jerk of its horned head... its long body to gain momentum and flapping its primary, dragon-like wings.

And I'm not really sure what you mean by "flying counterparts"... Don't these already fly?

Btw, I presume the bottom part is its physical description right? Hm... "Scatter of feathers" for the hatchling would probably look better, and I agree - a lighter tone for that stage would put emphasis on the adult's darker colors...

Otherwise, I'm looking forward to seeing these in the Stream~

[Kriever]

I edited it to make a bit more sense... It's a bit hard for me to explain it without my illustrations, but I try. ^^"

I'm not sure about your second quote about the momentum and stuff. I can't find what's out of place, there.

Flying counterparts has been changed as well, thanks so much for that!

[Anza9996]

DUUUUDE!!! I want one of these! I seriously want one of these!!! :O I can totally imagine what the Magistream version of this creature would look like! I loved the descriptions, it's not wordy like mine TT~TT lol

As for the maneuverability part, forgive me for comparing it like this, but I'm imagining that the serpents spin when they fly? Like Rayquaza(from poke'mon)?

[Kriever]

Yours has pictures. *laments*

... You are actually correct. I thought of making it fly like the Pokémon Dragonair, which also flies the same way as Rayquaza. -is shot-

I don't know how to literate that, so I understand if it's confusing...

EDIT: Added a few more words.

May be going to work on the second entry soon before the deadline. *sweatdrops*

[Kriever]

Bumping.

Still working on creature... Hope I can make it in time. >.>