I should be congratulated.

[Marsupial]

but there is a special bond between a mother and her child when she actually gives birth. I am not against adoption but being prego is some what special. and you can't necessarily get that with adoption. I would say have at least one child of your own..then adopt after that to your hearts content.

• -facepalm- No, there isn't. Like BBKat said, I'm tocophobic, and I sure as heck won't be getting myself pregnant and then popping a soccerball-sized kid out of my arsenal. No thanks. Anywho, when I was six, I got a disease that can kill. Thankfully it wasn't serious, however, if I have a child, I might pass this illness to him/her, making him/her suffer. I also had had asthma, and an allergy to cat saliva. So, yup, I think I'll adopt.

[Thylacina]

• -facepalm- No, there isn't. Like BBKat said, I'm tocophobic, and I sure as heck won't be getting myself pregnant and then popping a soccerball-sized kid out of my arsenal. No thanks. Anywho, when I was six, I got a disease that can kill. Thankfully it wasn't serious, however, if I have a child, I might pass this illness to him/her, making him/her suffer. I also had had asthma, and an allergy to cat saliva. So, yup, I think I'll adopt.

I'm not trying to put you off your decision at all, how you choose to live your life is entirely up to you and personally I think it's great that you want to adopt, but things like allergies aren't necessarily genetic. I know asthma can be because my Dad has it and so do my older sisters (somehow I dodged that particular gene) and depending on what your illness was it's probably not genetic either. It'd be one of those things you'd have to ask a doctor about if you decided you did want children of your own.

[missshadedlove]

only way to get past tocophobic is to face it :/. and like Thylacina said, depending on your illness you kid might not get it.

[BBkat]

That's not how a phobia works. Besides, it's one thing to do that with things like, fears of animals for example. (exposing yourself to it to work to get over it) You don't have to keep the animal around(or whatever your fear is), you do have to if you're having a kid, it's kind of a permanent thing ya know. And if they never wanted to have a kid in the first place it would be miserable for every party involved, mother and kid.
Besides some people just DON'T WANT KIDS. Seriously, why don't people get this? Like no, some people aren't going to 'change their mind later'.

[Karzarill]

You can actually risk making it far worse and do irreversible damage instead, and as BB said, some just don't want kids.

[Marsupial]

• @BBKat and Shedragon: Doctors often say otherwise. Some people just hate having kids around, are too busy, or are too poor to take care of a child whose going to stick around with them for a couple of decades. And anyway, I don't want to get pregnant, so I WILL NOT get pregnant. It is MY body, MY life, and I decide how it goes. NOBODY can tell me to get a kid or not.
  
  Anywho, doctors really are stupid, sometimes. Man wants to be sterilized, they do it without question. Woman wants to be sterilized, "OMG UR 2 YUNG U HAVN'T HAD A KIDDIE YET! WAT, U DONT WNAT 1?!!! U'LL CHAYNGE UR MIND SUMDAY!"
  Well, I quite don't think that they'll have as bad spelling and grammar as that.

[Tinni]

• @BBKat and Shedragon: Doctors often say otherwise. Some people just hate having kids around, are too busy, or are too poor to take care of a child whose going to stick around with them for a couple of decades. And anyway, I don't want to get pregnant, so I WILL NOT get pregnant. It is MY body, MY life, and I decide how it goes. NOBODY can tell me to get a kid or not.
  
  Anywho, doctors really are stupid, sometimes. Man wants to be sterilized, they do it without question. Woman wants to be sterilized, "OMG UR 2 YUNG U HAVN'T HAD A KIDDIE YET! WAT, U DONT WNAT 1?!!! U'LL CHAYNGE UR MIND SUMDAY!"
  Well, I quite don't think that they'll have as bad spelling and grammar as that.

The reason is male sterilizations are comparatively easier to reverse if they want to get it done later. And even after reversals for women sometimes procedures cause scarring causing stuff like tubal blockages etc.
That is why they prefer to advice against permanent methods for women.

Just make an informed choice on what is best for you emotionally and physically.
Good luck with your decision.

[Marsupial]

• @BBKat and Shedragon: Doctors often say otherwise. Some people just hate having kids around, are too busy, or are too poor to take care of a child whose going to stick around with them for a couple of decades. And anyway, I don't want to get pregnant, so I WILL NOT get pregnant. It is MY body, MY life, and I decide how it goes. NOBODY can tell me to get a kid or not.
  
  Anywho, doctors really are stupid, sometimes. Man wants to be sterilized, they do it without question. Woman wants to be sterilized, "OMG UR 2 YUNG U HAVN'T HAD A KIDDIE YET! WAT, U DONT WNAT 1?!!! U'LL CHAYNGE UR MIND SUMDAY!"
  Well, I quite don't think that they'll have as bad spelling and grammar as that.

The reason is male sterilizations are comparatively easier to reverse if they want to get it done later. And even after reversals for women sometimes procedures cause scarring causing stuff like tubal blockages etc.
That is why they prefer to advice against permanent methods for women.

Just make an informed choice on what is best for you emotionally and physically.
Good luck with your decision.

• Got it, thanks. :3

[sammythethief]

only way to get past tocophobic is to face it :/. and like Thylacina said, depending on your illness you kid might not get it.

You're not just facing holding a snake or a spider to get over that phobia. You're irrevocably changing your life because someone gave you the rotten advice that facing your phobia is the only way to get over it. Having children is not necessary to lead a rich, fulfilled life. One will not be hindered if one does not have children. The phobia is harmless, as long as one with tocophobia doesn't become pregnant. "Facing it" ('it' being tocophobia) will probably end up giving that person a severe case of anxiety and will scar them for life.

If a person has arachnophobia and never looks at a spider again, it's not debilitating. It won't impact anyone's life, at all. But shoving a spider into their hand to make them "face it" will only terrify them and worsen their case of arachnophobia. Telling someone to get over tocophobia by getting pregnant will likely have a more negative impact, considering you have to act as a human incubator for a leech for nine months, and that's exactly what they fear.


I suppose I could consider myself tocophobic. The thought of my body being used by another thing to sustain its life is a revolting thought to me. Just thinking about the process of childbirth is enough to make the bile rise in the back of my throat, and make my lip curl. This topic (and the subsequent research I've done on tocophobia while typing this) has actually brought me some sort of peace. I'm not just a baby-hating, pregnancy-fearing nutcase. It's a thing, it's a phobia. It exists. I'm not weird!

[I hope this isn't considered necro-ing. It's only been a little over a month since the last post.]

[BluMajica]

As red posted here, I'm coming on board...

only way to get past tocophobic is to face it :/. and like Thylacina said, depending on your illness you kid might not get it.

really? You really think that?? Im glad you are not a counsellor/therapist who deals with people who have phobias
ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE.

Agoraphobia is the fear of outdoors - you can't just get over it and walk outside - and *poof* CURED! it dont work like that - for anything.
Fear of spiders? Snakes, birds whatever it is - it can take YEARS of therapy, support and careful tendering of the person, so you dont make it worse!

my defacto has Agoraphobia - his parents tried the - "Get over it, get outdoors. Your just making it up.." forced him otudoors, and now he wont go outside - minus 2 hours once a month to see his psychiatrist. Which in it self is a huge thing for him. it takes medication and a week for him to work up to it to actually do it.
his room he stays in is always closed to the outdoors - curtains and windows never opened.

he cant leave that room if I have anything open in the house.



....So perhaps you should stop and think before posting your cure alls...