The Moonshift Lounge: Muses of a Mind Long Lost - Critiques?

[Inkeyu]

It seems like I'm smiling,
Sometimes when I'm frowning.
In this sea of people
I feel I am drowning.
Now nothing can stop this
Spiraling listlessness,
As upwards we fall to fate
And all we can do is wait.

Through the trials we have come and survived. 10
For what does it mean that we are alive? 10
Stuck to this planet we're spinning. 8
We're playing and asking if it's enough 10
We only want unconditional love. 10
Are just those with love the ones who are winning? 12
All we can do is wait. 5

It feels like I'm flying,
Sometimes when I'm falling.
In this sea of noises
I feel I'm not calling.
Now nothing can stop this
Spiraling blissfulness,
As downwards we fly to fate
And all we can do is wait.

Both hell and high waters have attempted, 10
To tear us from each other and end it. 10
But we just keep on moving 8
As if just playing it safe is enough 10
We only want someone whom we can love. 10
Are those in love the ones who are improving? 12
All we can do is wait. 5

There's you and me
Anywhere we want to be
We're already there.
Which direction is up
You know that moment is why
We are looking for tears.

It seems like I'm crying,
Sometimes when I'm laughing.
In this sea of planets
I feel I'm not trying.
Now nothing can stop this
Spiraling endlessness,
As outwards we cling to fate
And all we can do is wait.

Yeah all we can do is wait.
I'll wait forever.
I'll wait for you.

[Inkeyu]

there's nothing worth knowing
i'm constantly showing
all my emotions

it all seems to be changing
we're constantly rearanging
our devotions

but here we are
spinning around the solar system
watching it from a jar
keeping this reality we exist in

((may add more later))

[Inkeyu]

Why when the darkness does fall
The feathers of ravens darken all,
When bitter tears stain satin cheeks
And every man made dam has leaks
The skies do break
And the stars cry out
With the hearts they take?
Still no doubts.

What are trees but flutes for the wind?
What is wind but a voice for the trees?
What is that love which terrifies,
Where is freedom but Paradise?

I'll see you there my friend,
To beginning from the end.
The phoenix knows the way.
We'll be in Paradise one day.

It began as a bedtime story for most of us. We all knew it from the very beginning of every one of our lives. From the Revolutionary Committee to the Domesticated, no matter where or by whom we were raised by, every one of us knew it by heart. I never thought much of it for most of my life, until I met him. There's that one person in the world for everyone that just keeps you returning, intentionally or not. I thought that he was that one for me. We met several years ago in a raid on the shop I had been thrown in six years previous. Things were alright during that time of my life. I had a purpose, I had a family, and I had the one person in the world that I could rely on above all others. There was danger, sure, as there is now. But everything seemed like it was at the very least beginning to improve. For 12 years we lead the first line of offence and defense for the Revolutionary Committee, liberating our kin and trying to work towards a better future. But it wasn't to last. This story begins with the end of my 12 years of freedom.

[Inkeyu]

And of course, here I am sitting alone, feeling alone, cold, wet and sick and exhausted emotionally.
Why.....
Why is it that the only people/person I feel I can trust with my feelings is here...
Not my boyfriend....
Not my roommate....nor her boyfriend....
Sometimes my sister with some things, but not really many...

People want to be around me when it's convenient and when they get something physical they want out of it.

[Inkeyu]

"Come on! We gotta go!" Squall yelled at me as I knelt a few feet away collecting whatever supplies I could. "I know I know!" I shouted back, sticking my tongue out at him. The sound of sirens were almost deafening as I finished grabbing the last sack of medicine. "Lets go--" Hearing an odd sound behind me, I paused and looked around. Singing! Someone was singing! Without another word I took off in the direction of the sound at the back of the shop. "Hey!" I heard Squall yell, following shortly after me.

Reaching the source of the sound, my blood froze and sunk to my stomach, making me shiver. A young Annon girl, no more than three years of age, was lying in a pool of blood clutching a small dead kitten to her chest and crying while singing vainly to the small furry body. Swallowing hard to compose myself I stepped up to her speaking softly. "I'm sorry." I said, picking her up in my arms, "I'm so sorry." I turned just as Squall caught up and the worry became apparent immediately on his face. "Crap!" He hissed between clenched teeth. All three of us headed for the exit and reached the door just in time to get stopped by two particularly large Enforcers.

"Catch them alive!" The first one shouted, firing a net round at Squall, who dodged it only barely. The second Enforcer shot at me with another net round. Unable to dodge with the child in my arms, I closed my wings around myself and the girl, collapsing to the floor with a thud within the net. In an instant the net was cut and Squall stood over us, arms outstretched. I lifted the girl into his arms and ordered him "Run! Just RUN! I'll catch up!" Girl in one arm, he grabbed mine with his and lifted me into a kiss before running out the back door. I turned to follow and heard the click of a trigger. Two steps towards freedom and I felt another net curl itself around me. As the world slowed I saw my mate and the girl disappear over the back allay wall, felt the impact of the net and the relief that the ones I care about would be safe. {edit detail with nets}

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Inkeyu]

I hit the floor with a thud, knocking my head into a shelf and scattering fish food over me and across the floor. I turned angrily on the men that had caught me and screeched a warning to stay back. The men started away from me, unsure what to do with me and stood there awkwardly looking at each other and back to the front of the store. All except for one. I turned the entirety of my attention to the one person that hadn't moved and my heart shot to my talons.

"Rat!" I hissed at him, struggling against the net holding me. It was Duke Ratchetshire, the spoiled rich boy who had wanted to buy me for years, who grew up to be a pompous rich man who thought he could buy absolutely everything he wants. Hearing my hissed insult, he grinned and stepped forward to stand beside me. "Haha. Well well. It looks like you boys had a pretty good night." One of the men behind him turned his spot light torch into my face, blinding me for a few moments and forcing me to look away. The duke turned to them with a flourish of his gloved hand and shoed them away. "I can deal with this one. Go on after the others and I'll be sure you get the rewards and accolades you deserve."

Turning back, he knelt down beside me, a malicious grin on his face. Gleaming eyes staring me up and down and then into my eyes, he removed one of his gloves and reached to touch my cheek. My skin crawled, my stomach turned and I screeched, biting at his fingers. Instead of pulling away his hand, he used the end of his cane to press on my sternum hard enough to make me cry out and release his fingers. Pulling his hand from my mouth he quickly grabbed my jaw and stared me down only a few inches between our faces. I could feel his breath, calm and steady, on my face and smell the wine he had not but five minutes previously drank.

"Now now my pet, there's no need for violence. There'll be time for fighting later. You see so long as you cater to my every whim," he paused to look me up and down again, "and you will have anything you could ever need. However, bite me again and you will wish you'd never been born." Keeping his hand on my chin, he grabbed the net around my chest and lifted me off the floor. I struggled, trying to get out of the net or at least his grip before feeling his fingers close around my throat. He released the net with his hand, keeping the other firmly around my trachea he snapped for one of the other men still there. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was a man in a black suit entering the room.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Inkeyu]

I don't remember when I finally came to, only that I was glad to not have to smell his breath anymore. Street lights flashed by above me as the car bobbed and swayed under me. Everything was fuzzy and had a wavering haloed outline almost like looking at them through water. My head was equally as clouded as my vision. I couldn't tell where we were, what direction we were going, or even who was in the vehicle with me. Sitting up I shook my head in an attempt to clear it and looking down at myself slowly become aware of the fact that what I was wearing was not what I had been wearing for the raid. I'd gone in with cargo pants, bullet proof vest, and tactical jacket and came out wearing the most revealing blue dress I had ever seen.

I became suddenly wide awake and looked around the interior of the limo I sat in. There were three men in suits on the bench across from me all watching intently. The limo was an extravagant one with a fully stocked mini bar on the wall to my left and a brand new entertainment system on the other. Everywhere were should have been paneling there were fish tanks filled with small colorful fish. The seats were made of soft black leather and the floor was carpeted with thick black shag. Why a limo? Wouldn't it be easier to escape this than the vans that normally would have carried me off. It gave me an odd and vague feeling of dread.

"Where--" I began before my dizziness returned and my throat froze. As if understanding, the man sitting in the middle of the other bench spoke up. "You are on your way to the Duke's estate. We will be arriving in approximately thirty minutes." My heart froze along with my throat at this and tears began to come, despite my attempt to push them back. With a sigh, the man who'd spoken to me got up and sat beside me on the bench a respectful distance away. "There's no reason to cry. The Duke is a kind man and from what I hear he wants to court you." In what I assume was an attempt to calm me, he placed his hand on my back. My wings twitched in protest, my head swam and I grimaced, sucking in my breath. A concerned look on his face, he looked to where he had put his hand. Expression unchanged he looked me in the eyes and spoke directly.

"It looks like your wing is broken. I need to examine it and possibly reset it. Do I have your permission to do so?" I looked at him, confused. Why would he care? What possible reason could he have for wanting to help me? I stared, still suspicious of his motives so he grinned and reached into his pocket, drawing out a black leather wallet with the letters WS on it. He opened it, pulled a picture out of it and held it out to me. "This is my wife and our little girl. My wife's name is Sarah and my daughter is Evalyn." I gently accepted the picture from his hand and looked at it. Sarah stood in a sunny, flower filled yard, her auburn wings comfortably laying across the man's shoulders. In her arms was a girl no older than a year with her own set of black wings with soft looking plume. Handing the picture back to him I nodded and turned the injured wing towards him.

A half an hour of resetting my wing, putting it in a splint and talking about his family and we were at our destination.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Inkeyu]

Sream of consciousness. A stream. Trout. Salmon are tastier. I would like to make a stream water feature in a yard with cobbled bottom, waterfall and bridge. Make it like a mote. Carve out holes in the 'island' for fish to hide. Fill with local fish. And frogs. Maybe turtles. Of course you'll need some cat tails and some lily pads, maybe a few fallen logs here and there. Put a tree on the island. Better yet, put a tree FORT! A nice one. Maybe in a willow tree or an oak tree. Or a maple. The home made syrup would be great. Especially in the fall. I love the fall. The perfect combination between cool and warm and lots and lots of colors. It's like the world is putting on it's pajamas. Warm, soft, fragrant. And the corn. Oh the fresh corn! Grilled in the husks, slathered in butter and salt with ham. Or grilled chicken. Or steak. Medium rare for me. I miss the Trail Dust. It was the only place to get an enormous steak for a good price. And it was beautiful! All wood with a dance floor and an enormous slide. It used to be a wooden one that they rolled out onto the dance floor. After the first fire burnt it, they mounted a metal one in the wall. I want a water slide that goes from a bedroom into the outdoor pool, and one that goes to the indoor one. You know, when I have my mansion. I'll have a greenhouse too. With humming birds, lizards, snakes and butterflies. Maybe bees. Honey bees. Honey is good for you which is amazing because it's also extremely tasty. It's good for your teeth and immune system. Also for allergies. Local allergies with local honey anyway. There used to be an entire fair in Illinois dedicated to honey and other bee products. I remember my first honey stick had a baby bee in it. I cried a little. But it was still tasty. I pet a bee once. It was how I got over my fear of them. Poor thing was nearly frozen to death. That was at outdoor ed. in elementary school. That was a LOOOONG time ago. Man I'm old. At 24 I shouldn't be feeling old, but it's kinda hard not to when kids you used to baby sit are graduating college. It's a weird feeling. It's even weirder when it's your sister. My sister is awesome. She's a crazy ginger with amazing eyes and a heart of gold. Not to mention her eyes. I miss her. It's been too long since I've seen her. I should call her and set up a lunch or something. Mmmm food. Forgot I was hungry...and cooking...

Thoughts finished.

[ouah]

*settles in to her seat* cool place c;

*starts reading*

[Inkeyu]

Thank you! Welcome, and I hope you enjoy your visit!