eyes (critique please?)

[crazyflight]

this is a really short piece that i wrote for a writing contest
constructive criticism and any comments are greatly appreciated

Eyes fascinate me.
I’ve been struck by the look in someone’s eyes or the way their eyes look, how they can express those deepest sorrows and shine with the joy that I’d feel if I knew that every morning I could wake up and see you, your shining eyes, or the inexplicable rush that I can only imagine someone would feel upon just being able to see for the first time.

Sometimes I get lost.
It’s not the stress you’d feel if you drove through small-town Westchester—or anywhere in New Jersey—and you just kept turning and encountering the same goddamn gas station and wasn’t I just here? where am I going? The sameness is more refreshing, something I want to experience, again and again.

It’s not that I don’t like blue, I love blue, it’s just that there’s something alluring about darker eyes that captivates me. Sometimes people call blue eyes “piercing” as a sort of neutral comment; there’s nothing good or bad about it necessarily, it’s just that they’re cold and trenchant at times when brown eyes are warm and comforting. There’s something smooth and warm about your almost-black irises that melts my heart where icy cerulean would freeze it.

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. There are times when yours are wide open, relishing the fresh air, and times when they are shut tight, shutters drawn (presumably to keep out the cold). I think it’s best to keep the curtains open, at least. I like to see the sun shine through.

[GlowingMoon]

Hello, crazyflight
I like your story and the way it is written. You express what you feel when you see eyes and what you think about these "tools", the reader can feel that fascination while reading this story. That is what I think is good about this story. Sometimes it is also surprizing, I don't know if it is good or bad sometimes, but it is interesting (so it is good I think). You didn't only write down one aspect, you wrote about different things you can see in the eyes although there are similarities. For example in the first part, you write that the eyes fescinate you, that they catch you, and in the third part, that blue eyes are way different from brown ones, that blue eyes are cold somehow. It may be confusing, but it is interesting and you distribute the colors and feelings.

In general, your story is interesting and the reader can feel with the writer and that is why I like the story.
So, that is my view

[crazyflight]

Hello, crazyflight
I like your story and the way it is written. You express what you feel when you see eyes and what you think about these "tools", the reader can feel that fascination while reading this story. That is what I think is good about this story. Sometimes it is also surprizing, I don't know if it is good or bad sometimes, but it is interesting (so it is good I think). You didn't only write down one aspect, you wrote about different things you can see in the eyes although there are similarities. For example in the first part, you write that the eyes fescinate you, that they catch you, and in the third part, that blue eyes are way different from brown ones, that blue eyes are cold somehow. It may be confusing, but it is interesting and you distribute the colors and feelings.

In general, your story is interesting and the reader can feel with the writer and that is why I like the story.
So, that is my view

thank you!