The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

This section is for writing that is completely your own, including the world it is set in

Moderator: Tea House Moderators

Is my story ok?

Yes, it is good.
0
No votes
It is ok.
0
No votes
Needs improvement.
0
No votes
AHHH! STOP WRITING!!!
0
No votes
 
Total votes: 0

User avatar
CloudBubblez
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 626
Joined: April 23rd, 2010, 2:20:22 am
Gender: Female
Location: Trying to draw and failing...epically

The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

Post by CloudBubblez »

Ok, title's stupid. but I really can't think of anything else. Just read, and help by posting constructive comments. I'm not really good. But you need other people to help yo see whats wrong in ur work. You can tell me it's stupid, really, I don't mind. I've told myself it's stupid. XD
Spoiler
I stood on the riverbank. My shoes were carelessly strewn on the grass. I’d wanted to feel the cool water between my toes.
I inhaled. It smelt of…nature; of the forest; of the delicate white flowers dotting the clearing next to the river I’d never found the name of. Amazingly, I also smelt my Grandma’s chocolate chip cookies, fresh out of the oven. But that was impossible. She’d been dead four years. I felt a pang in my chest. I miss you, Grandma…
We were moving. This town, the place I’d spent all my thirteen years. The place where I’d made my many friends, where I’d lived a life, where my grandmother died, where my dad left…
Actually, I could kind of see why my mom wanted to leave.
Still, I was leaving everything. Mom hadn’t even asked me. It was just the two of us now. I thought she’d at least let me have an opinion.
I remembered when she told me. It was over dinner. A week before our flight. I barely had time to “settle everything”, as she put it. If settling everything meant trying to destroy all of Dad’s precious antique furniture he couldn’t take with him when he moved into his secretary’s apartment (Seriously. It couldn’t get more cliché.)
My watch beeped. Eight o’clock. A squirrel came up to me, cocked its little head and placed a nut next to me. I smiled and, after some thought, turned around to put on my shoes.
That night, I talked to my mom. I don’t know where I got the confidence. Could it have been the squirrel? She agreed to stay for another month, to let me really tie up all the loose strings.
She got lucky. She met a man. Someone who truly loved her for who she was. In three months they were married.
I visited that clearing everyday from then on. I ever did meet that little squirrel again, though. I don’t know why. It always had a special meaning to me, although all it did was give me a nut. Perhaps it reminded me that life wasn’t all that bad. There was some kindness in the world. And I never forgot it.
Funny you could learn all that from a squirrel.
You can laugh. I personally invite you to laugh.
Last edited by CloudBubblez on January 3rd, 2011, 2:08:23 am, edited 2 times in total.
Lovely. A new block of text. WON'T BE ON MUCH THIS YEAR SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME. ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
Codiezz
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3041563][img]http://magistream.com/img/3041563.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016878][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016878.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3033268][img]http://magistream.com/img/3033268.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016824][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016824.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3068646][img]http://magistream.com/img/3068646.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3035165][img]http://magistream.com/img/3035165.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3015222][img]http://magistream.com/img/3015222.gif[/img][/url]
User avatar
CloudBubblez
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 626
Joined: April 23rd, 2010, 2:20:22 am
Gender: Female
Location: Trying to draw and failing...epically

Re: The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

Post by CloudBubblez »

*bump*
Lovely. A new block of text. WON'T BE ON MUCH THIS YEAR SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME. ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
Codiezz
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3041563][img]http://magistream.com/img/3041563.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016878][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016878.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3033268][img]http://magistream.com/img/3033268.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016824][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016824.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3068646][img]http://magistream.com/img/3068646.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3035165][img]http://magistream.com/img/3035165.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3015222][img]http://magistream.com/img/3015222.gif[/img][/url]
User avatar
CloudBubblez
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 626
Joined: April 23rd, 2010, 2:20:22 am
Gender: Female
Location: Trying to draw and failing...epically

Re: The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

Post by CloudBubblez »

bump
Lovely. A new block of text. WON'T BE ON MUCH THIS YEAR SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME. ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
Codiezz
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3041563][img]http://magistream.com/img/3041563.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016878][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016878.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3033268][img]http://magistream.com/img/3033268.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016824][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016824.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3068646][img]http://magistream.com/img/3068646.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3035165][img]http://magistream.com/img/3035165.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3015222][img]http://magistream.com/img/3015222.gif[/img][/url]
User avatar
Nalamba
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 70
Joined: July 7th, 2009, 2:30:31 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Stargate, Star Wars, Star Trek- The Perfect Trifecta! :D

Re: The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

Post by Nalamba »

Great short story! And it's not a stupid title. A lot of people can't think of a good title for a long time, and then it suddenly just pops into your head. But the title you have now is actually rather fitting. :)
User avatar
LoonyLuna
Member of The Dark Brotherhood
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 1843
Joined: April 15th, 2010, 3:17:06 am
Gender: Female
Location: Hogwarts

Re: The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

Post by LoonyLuna »

Thats nice, seriously. :lol: . But how could she get confidence from a squirrel?
ImageImageImageImage
Image
User avatar
CloudBubblez
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 626
Joined: April 23rd, 2010, 2:20:22 am
Gender: Female
Location: Trying to draw and failing...epically

Re: The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

Post by CloudBubblez »

Wow :aah: . Thanks. And i have no idea how she got confidence from the squirrel. It's supposed to be symbolic, I guess (ok, that's just an excuse).
Lovely. A new block of text. WON'T BE ON MUCH THIS YEAR SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME. ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
Codiezz
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3041563][img]http://magistream.com/img/3041563.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016878][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016878.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3033268][img]http://magistream.com/img/3033268.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016824][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016824.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3068646][img]http://magistream.com/img/3068646.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3035165][img]http://magistream.com/img/3035165.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3015222][img]http://magistream.com/img/3015222.gif[/img][/url]
User avatar
CloudBubblez
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 626
Joined: April 23rd, 2010, 2:20:22 am
Gender: Female
Location: Trying to draw and failing...epically

Re: The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

Post by CloudBubblez »

Bumpz :yey:
Lovely. A new block of text. WON'T BE ON MUCH THIS YEAR SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME. ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
Codiezz
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3041563][img]http://magistream.com/img/3041563.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016878][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016878.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3033268][img]http://magistream.com/img/3033268.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016824][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016824.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3068646][img]http://magistream.com/img/3068646.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3035165][img]http://magistream.com/img/3035165.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3015222][img]http://magistream.com/img/3015222.gif[/img][/url]
User avatar
stationary123
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 19
Joined: October 23rd, 2010, 12:16:50 pm

Re: The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

Post by stationary123 »

cool story and I don't mind about the title, the title is cool!!!!!
User avatar
CloudBubblez
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 626
Joined: April 23rd, 2010, 2:20:22 am
Gender: Female
Location: Trying to draw and failing...epically

Re: The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

Post by CloudBubblez »

XD. Thanks :t-dance: . Still looking for a more descriptive, meaningful title other than 'The Squirrel'. :t-puppyeyes:
Lovely. A new block of text. WON'T BE ON MUCH THIS YEAR SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME. ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
Codiezz
Spoiler

Code: Select all

[url=http://magistream.com/creature/3041563][img]http://magistream.com/img/3041563.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016878][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016878.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3033268][img]http://magistream.com/img/3033268.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3016824][img]http://magistream.com/img/3016824.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3068646][img]http://magistream.com/img/3068646.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3035165][img]http://magistream.com/img/3035165.gif[/img][/url][url=http://magistream.com/creature/3015222][img]http://magistream.com/img/3015222.gif[/img][/url]
User avatar
LoonyLuna
Member of The Dark Brotherhood
CreaturesTrade
Posts: 1843
Joined: April 15th, 2010, 3:17:06 am
Gender: Female
Location: Hogwarts

Re: The Squirrel(Stupid title, but read and comment anyway)

Post by LoonyLuna »

CloudBubblez wrote:XD. Thanks :t-dance: . Still looking for a more descriptive, meaningful title other than 'The Squirrel'. :t-puppyeyes:
I think the title suits the story perfectly actually Cloud. Since thats the thing that gave her confidence, leave it :t-wave: :wave:
ImageImageImageImage
Image

Return to “The Parlor”