a story idea! Please Read and answer my question! Thx

[Dauntless]

Hey MagiStream, ever since I joined MagiStream I've ALWAYS had this idea for a story that I've been to scared to write cuz no one really likes my writing, Which is starting to make me think I am a bad writer and I am losing confidence. anyway, would you read a story like this..........

Spoiler

In this world, you'll find things that would blow your mind. Like the creatures of the world. There are two groups of these creatures. the lights and the darks! The leaders are the Raiju's, light Raiju for the light creatures, and dark raiju for the dark creatures. The light creatures don't assume that there is any other creatures but them, and the darks think that as well. the Raiju's know, the Raiju's know there is other creatures, but they don't dare tell there pack. but the Raiju's can't keep there secret for long beacause soon the creatures meet eachother and a war is started! The creatures want more land, and only one pack can get it. which pack will win the war and get the land...read to find out.......

Well, what did you think? Please, if you have a problem with the idea don't comment rudely. I hope you like the idea, I have created a poll question that only says YES or NO! So choose carefully. I will run it til August 24th 2011 And if yes wins, I will write the story on MagiStream! Its your choice.....

[Dauntless]

No one, Anyone?

[zozzy]

It would be such an interesting story but you should articulate the plot more easy to read for people becuase It takes a minute to understand what you are trying to get across In the sample you have given to us.Anyway though If you decide to make it I would happily make a video trailer for it.

[Dauntless]

:O Really?! Thx and I willl make it easier to understand!

[zozzy]

Much better I can make that much easier with the little bit of extra detail and the simplicity I will be able to make the trailer much easier

[abby11kitty]

sounds good!!!! you should write some more explaining the characters the plot it amazing!!!!

[Pink]

Nice plot, but it's very hard to follow.

The light creatures don't assume that there is any other creatures but them, and the darks think that as well. the Raiju's know, the Raiju's know there is other creatures, but they don't dare tell there pack.

Erm... you just said the raijus didn't know? And aren't the light and dark creatures raijus?
Also, you use the word 'but' a lot. x3x

but the Raiju's can't keep there secret for long beacause soon the creatures meet eachother and a war is started!

Why is the war started? What problem did they encounter between each other? Why can't they just collaborate and make peace?
Some questions you might want to answer in the story.
Also, before you start going crazy and just write (I know that feeling), you should jot down some characters first. :3 If you're black and out of ideas, I suggest duolit. They have a pretty general character generator that you could base your characters off of. :3

Throw it in Microsoft Word and check all of the spelling errors :3 Also, try to use some more elaborate and interesting words.
For example:

The creatures want more landa larger kingdom/empire, and only one pack can get itrule/obtain it. Which pack will win the war and getrule the land? Ready to find out.......?

And that was just the last sentence xD
Anyway, very cool and interesting plot. :3 I'd love to read more!

[Ye1]

i liked the idea! where there is no other creture but them.... nice!!!!!!