I am looking for some help on a story Idea

[cuteAkogara]

Okay so I had this nightmare and I wanted to base a story off it where 2 young children get caught in a Abandoned house they later find out has a Evil ghost that belonged to a murder who murdered the younger child's family while she was she was away at school.

I wanted these children to run away from the Orphanage because one of the staff members there who is looking after these 2 kids while they wait for adoption treats them bad and verbally abuses the children. They wanted to get away from that so they run away that following night when everyone is sleeping.

The 2 children run into some rotten apples and that's where the teenagers come in. (In my dream they were Zombies but they have no place in my novel so I changes them to teenagers) So The teenagers think its funny to pick on these poor children by throwing rocks and sticks chasing them and calling them names so they do so and the teenagers chase the kids to the old abandoned house.

The kids are stuck in there because the teenagers are waiting for them to come back out so they can have some of their "Harmless fun" but soon the Teenagers get sick of waiting for the kids to come out and leave. By this time its to late to go any where out and the children are tired so they look around for a comfy spot to sleep when all of a sudden they hear a baby screeching and crying. This scares the kids but after a moment the girl wants to go exploring to see what it is. The boy protests because he thinks it might be the teenagers playing a prank on them.

The night goes on and the children cant get any sleep because the house is just plain creepy. Its so dark, it creeks also there are bumps and thumps going on but what freaks them out more is the things they experience. They see scenes of murder going on in front of them, they hear woman screams and a man yelling and the distressed cry of a new born baby, they see Apparitions and one is even solid and chases them and can do real harm to them.

I know this might sound really horrid but I am a horror writer and I do write other things but can you please offer some feed back and help me with some things. I tried getting help on another form on another site and people tore me apart because they thought a story Idea based off a dream I had was a waste of their time to even help out with.

[cuteAkogara]

Daily Bump.

I am still looking for people to give me some you know criticism but please nothing rude and nothing mean I had enough of this from people on gaia online and someone I thought was my friend on facebook.

[SapphiraCain]

Hey, I think writing a story from your dreams is pretty original and can produce some great writing. I have weird dreams all the time and am in the middle of writing them all down. And besides, it doesn't always matter where you get the idea, just at how good the story is.
The storyline sounds pretty good and we can definitely tell its a horror. Problems with horrors is that its quite difficult to keep them child-friendly for forums whilst still making them scary or chillers.
The house would be great to describe and add in loads of subtle details to make the scene a little more creepy.
I'd be happy to help any way I can and if you want any help, feel free to pm me. I've written a few horror stories so I might be able to help if you'd like

[cuteAkogara]

Well the Idea is not for the forum but for the eyes of readers all over the world as a hand held book or a E-book. I want to get this Published something that will be well impossible to do here since there is nobody part of a publishing deal on this site. if there is we don't know about him and he or she might not bother to use the Tea house forums.

Like I was saying I plan on getting this published I just posted this here because any where else would get my topic locked since this dose you know involve writing and belongs in the writing forum. I will in fact keep in kind to message you when I get less busy with things you know planing a family trip out to see my boyfriend and everything this week and busy reading a book called "Dark Fire" I will Message you when you get the chance thanks for posting.

[SapphiraCain]

Oh I'm sorry, I thought you wanted it on the forums, my mistake.
But good luck getting it published after you've finished, I wouldn't mind one of my stories to be published but I'm never confident enough in my works to send it anywhere so I've just stuck to writing on forums and writing sites.
It's good that your ambitious about your writing and like I said, if you want any help or advice for your story just pm me.

[cuteAkogara]

Oh I'm sorry, I thought you wanted it on the forums, my mistake.
But good luck getting it published after you've finished, I wouldn't mind one of my stories to be published but I'm never confident enough in my works to send it anywhere so I've just stuck to writing on forums and writing sites.
It's good that your ambitious about your writing and like I said, if you want any help or advice for your story just pm me.

Thanks :3 and I will remember. Also I am trying to get back into school to do a Major in English :3 I cant wait to go to university. I got to update my courses from high school though I can do it this year coming up and I say I will do well.

[cuteAkogara]

Bump

[Tidesweep]

This sounds interesting. I would be willing to help you out as well and I do always love to read a good horror story and so far from your mini-description it sounds like one.

[Insanity]

Well the Idea is not for the forum but for the eyes of readers all over the world as a hand held book or a E-book. I want to get this Published something that will be well impossible to do here since there is nobody part of a publishing deal on this site. if there is we don't know about him and he or she might not bother to use the Tea house forums.

I actually published one of my poems in a book. /just saying~ :p\

Anyway, I think you're on to something here. Maybe with a bit more character development, lots more plot twists, and even a little more horror & descriptions could set you on the right track. Also, be careful of run-on sentences, you have a lot. ;;

And just a little note on publishing: It's going to take you a long time to get something worked up to have it approved by an editor. Most famous writers -J.K. Rowling with Harry Potter, for example, got rejected twelve times- get rejected five or more times before they got anything published.

[Arrietty]

It seems that your dream/story idea would make a great story, just put more idea inputs and I think you'll have a fine book someday. I am not very good at giving examples for stories like theses so I feel like helping by telling you that's great so far