Here my entry for the contest, Behemoth. Tell me what you think.
General:
Bigger than a house, with wide, crushing feet, four curved horns, and an incredibly long and thick tail, a behemoth is an impressive sight. They live near rivers and lakes in the Jungles of Raza, spending much of their time in water. They have colorful beards of flesh under their chins, which are larger and brighter in the males. Usually a gentle giant, the behemoth browses on trees, often knocking down the whole tree to get the juicy leaves it wants. But when it's young or eggs are threatened, the behemoth can create earth tremors that are felt miles away. Even dragons rarely dare to challenge the behemoth.
Egg:
This very large and very heavy egg has a thick tail poking out of it.
Hatchling:
This drab-colored hatchling has enormous feet, a long tail, and a huge appetite. Each day it requires ever larger quantities of hay, oats, vegetables, and any edible plant material in general. Fortunately, it's learning to feed itself, rearing up trees to nibble on the leaves, and spending hours browsing on bushes around the Keep. It's already huge, and growing bigger all the time. It frequently trips over its feet, too big even for its size, and its tail is constantly knocking things over.
Adult: (Slight difference between males and females)
You are amazed at how big your pet has grown. You could build a house and live on its back. The earth trembles under its footsteps, and its tail can knock over young trees and collapse a house. It enjoys using its horns to spar with other behemoth, and tosses its head to display to females/waves its head to display to males. Every so often, it emits deep, rumbling bellows which cause the earth to shake for miles around. It is quite gentle and amiable toward you and other magi, though you must take care not to get in the way of its feet!
Male's crest is large, bright green lined with red, and yellow flecks. Females' is smaller, paler green lined with pink.
Male:
Female:
My entry - Behemoth
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My entry - Behemoth
Last edited by Knuckerbearer on September 17th, 2009, 10:14:59 am, edited 5 times in total.
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Re: My entry - Behemoth
thus is an idea, disregard it if you dont like it-you should make the adult description longer. Adult descriptions are usually the longest.
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Re: My entry - Behemoth
Yeah, I was wondering if I should make it longer
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Re: My entry - Behemoth
The behemoth and Leviathan are mythical counterparts. This is perfect.